Instead of waiting until you are stressed and it is necessary to find support, why not draw up and network of friends chart now. This may not seem easy at first and you may not have many names to start with, but over time you can add or subtract names as necessary.
Friends within a network can usually be placed into three categories-
1. Close family and a few close friends
2. Extended family and friends
3. Social and business acquaintances
You should put these down on paper in a logical form so that each group is easily identifiable. One way to do this is to get a piece of paper and draw a small target circle in the middle, then three more circles around that centre one, each one larger than the previous one just like a shooting target pictured here.
In the middle circle write your name.
Within the next circle write down the names of people who are closest to you and your heart – best friends you can depend and rely on, along with family that you support and who support you too. These should be people that you could trust with your life. This circle is small as you usually only have a few people in this circle.
In the third circle write down the names of people who are still close to you, but just not a close as the ones in the previous circle – extended family and your friends. You should also be able to trust these people, but not to the extent that you trust the previous group. This circle is larger than the previous one and correspondingly should contain more names.
Lastly with in the biggest circle write down the names of people who are really more acquaintances than actual friends – people you know through casual contact such as business, sport, church, social groups, clubs, neighbours, etc., that you don’t spend a lot of personal time with. This circle is the largest and should contain the largest number of names.
Keep in mind there is no right or wrong with this exercise. It is not something you have to show anyone else. Keep in mind some people may take offence to not being in your inner circle of friends, so it is probably better kept somewhere private.
When trouble, strife, or problems arise and you are not sure who to turn too, you can then go to this list and see who might be available to help. But don’t leave contacting these people until you need them. Make sure you maintain your relationship with them by communicating with all of these three groups of people. The further from the centre people are, the less contact you need to maintain your relationship with them.
Friends come in and go out of our life all the time, so update your network chart as necessary. Having a network of friends means we won’t feel quite so sharply someone leaving our life, as we would if we only had one friend on whom to rely.
Until next time – remember, safety first!