To make this a bit easier we will discuss the latter group first. With this group of people we might find ourselves speaking harshly to them, being unusually mean, or just plain rude without realising it. It might even take someone else to point this out before we realise that something is wrong. But whether we realise it ourselves or have someone point it out to us, the first thing you need to do is acknowledge it.
Years ago I worked in an office of about 25 people. I was an easy going person and got along with everyone in the office. Then a new girl was employed and things just didn’t run the same anymore. After a couple of months one of the other girls came up to me and asked what I have against this girl? I was confused, as I didn’t think I had anything against her.
The second girl and myself started talking, and as we discussed things that this girl did we could see why she was getting under my skin and why I was treating her differently from everyone else and unfairly – without me even realising it. That was a huge slap in the face for me, but I took it on board and started to watch my attitude and dealings with this girl closely making sure that I was kind and fair.
Another time I had one of the male workers in another office confront me and ask why I didn’t like him? This time I was even more puzzled as he was new, worked in a different department, and I didn’t recall even speaking to him. So I asked him why he thought that I didn’t like him. He told me one of the other office girls had told him so. Curious to find out why, I talked with this girl and found out that there had been a stupid “game” played in the office where you had to pick which out of two guys who we worked with, that you liked the most. I said neither, as I was married. When pressed I had said I liked the other guy more, and the girl then went and told this guy that I didn’t like him!!
Unfortunately, this young man took it to heart and it spoiled our working relationship till I parted with that company. I never held it against him, and treated him like all the other men of that department, but somehow he still seemed to take offense to many things I did and said. In this case there was nothing I could do to remedy the situation.
Then there is the other type of relationships that you meet someone for the first time and it is like you have been lifelong friends. Sometimes these relationships can last for a long time, and other times they build up slower, and last a lifetime.
I have had numerous relationships like this. They can be a huge amount of fun as you have so much in common, you laugh at the same things – some of which really aren’t funny; you cry over the same things as they touch your heart; and you also get angry about the injustice that seems to prevail in the world. You enjoy the same types of outings and share experiences with each other whether or not you are together or thousands of miles apart.
Both relationships can bring its own rewards and down sides. They can help us to see things differently, watch how we react and treat others, care and share with likeminded people while not mistreating those who are different, and basically make our life experience with others more well-rounded.
So the next time someone rubs you the wrong way, try to work out why and make compromises so that you treat them fairly and courteously. Also, cherish the other relationships you have too!
Until next time – remember, safety first!